Sad day when baby girl doesn't fit into her newborn clothes anymore. Just breaks my heart. Slow down Hazel!
I can't believe she'll be 4 weeks this Thursday. Her Asian slanted eyes are gone now, her eyes have lightened up, her double chin is ever expanding, and she weighed 9 pounds 7 ounces last week. She's growing so fast, and she seems to change a little bit every day. I'm not really a fan of it. I would prefer if she stayed small forever. I will admit I'm excited to see her smile and hear her laugh and listen to her talk, but that can all just take its time if it means Hazel will stay my little baby.
With Tyler as her dad and me as her mom, it's no surprise that Hazel loves to sleep. For the first little while, she wouldn't even cry because it took way too much energy for her. She would just whimper and then go back to sleep. I loved it. She's giving it her all to wake up in this video, but it turns out to be a major fail.
Hazel just happens to be the prettiest little baby ever, and if you don't already think so, I think it's safe to say these pictures will definitely convince you. Kyra was the brain behind all these pictures, and I'm in love with every single one of them. Thank you, Kyra! You are the best!
Having a baby has definitely changed my life, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. It amazes me that I can love something as much as I love Hazel. It sometimes hurts my heart because there's so much love in there. I feel like I've known her forever, and in a way I guess I really have. It's been a splendid thing getting to reunite with her again!
The last month of my pregnancy seemed to drag on and on and on. Every day seemed to last 40 years, and I thought she would never come. But she's here and healthy and the prettiest girl I've ever seen in my entire life. I can't get over her. Most of the day you can find me just sitting and staring at her and smothering her with kisses. I absolutely adore her.
Hazel was born May 3rd, 2012.
I kind of knew it was going to happen that day. The day before all day long I was having contractions. They weren't too painful, and they were really irregular. I probably googled a million times that day whether or not to go to the hospital. I google everything. All it told me was that I'd know. I decided they weren't bad enough to go in yet, so Tyler and I went grocery shopping instead. In hindsight, maybe not the best idea. I was kind of hurting, and walking around wasn't making anything better.
That night I didn't sleep at all. I finally decided to just get up at 5 in the morning and shower and try to get my mind off the pain. I still wasn't convinced it was time to go to the hospital.
Tyler was supposed to work that day, but he had a feeling that the baby was coming, so he called in and took the day off. I was really trying to make him go to work. I was having a hard time believing that Hazel was coming that day, but good thing for Tyler's feeling because around 6:30 I couldn't even stand or talk when a contraction came on, and they were coming almost every five minutes. I googled it and then finally decided to go to the hospital.
The whole drive to the hospital I was so worried that we'd get there and they'd send us back home. I did not want that to happen. Luckily, that's not what happened. We got to the hospital around 7 o'clock, and I was 5 cm dilated. They admitted me right away.
After that, everything is kind of a blur. I ended up having Toxemia, and Hazel's heartbeat kept going down. They hooked me up to an IV and even had NICU come into the room. I knew I should have been worried, but honestly, I was too focused on the pain and was having a hard time being worried about anything else. I kept quiet the entire time because I knew if I started screaming or crying, I wouldn't be able to stop.
I was so irritable the entire time. I didn't like being touched or even talked to. I basically ignored anyone who tried to talk to me. Someone said something funny once, and everyone started laughing. I can't even describe how mad I was at them for laughing. That was not the time or place to laugh! I promise I'm not that mean all the time!
Everything happened so fast, I didn't even have time to think about an epidural. At 12:10 p.m., Hazel was born. She was a healthy 8.0 pound, 20 and a half inch long baby. She's so precious, and definitely well worth every moment of pregnancy and all the pain of labor. I'm one proud mama!
She has red hair! I love it. I love her!
She has Tyler wrapped around her finger
I can't get over her
They love sleeping. She's clearly Tyler's daughter.
Do all parents love their kids this much? I'm obsessed
Love them!
She loves laying on her side. She'll roll over to her side almost every night
Answer the questions provided by the person who tagged you.
Create 11 new questions for the people you tag.
Tag 11 people.
1. I am 36 weeks pregnant. That means I only have 4 more weeks to go, hopefully. I can't wait any longer than 4 weeks.
2. One day last summer a bunch of us girls got together. We were talking about how birth control makes us crazy. By the end of that night, I decided to go off birth control and just be careful. I was positive I was being careful. One month later I was pregnant. I'm obviously very fertile.
3. I am probably the most awkward person alive (surprise, surprise). Sometimes I'll just be talking to someone and my face will go bright red for no reason. And because I know it's red, I just get even more embarrassed. Weird.
4. I love Little Mermaid. Tyler says it's because us gingers need to stick together. He's probably right.
5. I love good smelling things. Especially good smelling laundry. There's nothing better than getting into bed with clean sheets. My favorite.
6. I hate Pawn Stars and Auction Hunters because that's all Tyler ever watches, and it's always on!
7. I would pick water over pop any day. Except when I'm eating popcorn.
8. I want to name baby girl Zara, but Tyler hates it. If everyone could tell Tyler what an awesome name that is every time you see him, it would be greatly appreciated.
9. Movie mill popcorn is the best thing on the planet. I could eat a jumbo by myself every day probably. Delicious.
10. I wish I was a hippie. I love everything about them, especially their hair. Really, I just really, really, really want long hair.
11. I think the Cardston temple is one of the most beautiful places. My biggest want in life right now bedsides having a healthy baby is having my little family sealed there.
Steph's Questions
1. What is your favorite genre of music?
I love music. I think it's safe to say when I'm home alone or driving, 90% of the time I have music on. As for my favorite genre, I don't think I have one. Basically if it's a good song, I'm going to like it. I dislike screamo very much, Tyler's rap songs, and I'm not a fan of country, but that being said, there are probably 3 country songs I like. I love finding songs no one's heard before, and I hate when songs I like go on the radio. I think it wrecks them.
2. What is your favorite book you have read?
I don't think I can pick one book. I'm a huge fan of books. If I had to pick 3 I'd say The Hunger Games, Unbroken, and The Forgotten Garden.
3. Which would you choose... Chicken or steak?
Chicken, but steak is wonderful too.
4. If you had one day to do anything you wanted to do, go anywhere you wanted to go, be with anyone you wanted to be with and spend as much money as you wanted to... how would that day go?
I'm going to say I would want to go lay on a sandy beach somewhere nice and hot and just bask in the sun and swim in the ocean all day long. With Tyler and baby girl. Is that lame? Whatever, I love the beach.
5. If you could change ONE thing about yourself (physically, emotionally etc.) What would it be?
I'm torn between not being awkward anymore and having my hair grow. I think in the end I would choose not being awkward anymore. I think it would be quite lovely to be able to go up to anybody and have a normal conversation with them. I would love my hair to be long, but that's why I have extensions I suppose.
6. What is your favorite color combination?
Right now, coral and aqua and cream. Kind of like this.
7. Where would be your dream location to live for the rest of your life?
New Zealand, but all my family would have to move with me. It would be no fun without family.
8. What is your biggest fear when it comes to raising your family?
As I'm having a baby pretty quick here, I've actually thought a lot about this. I think there's so much to fear about raising a family, especially at this time of the world, but in the end, I think my biggest fear is that my kids won't love me. I think it's so important that there's love in the family.
9. If you were in a park and someone was screaming for help, what would you do?
My first thought was that I'd probably call Tyler and ask him what to do. I'm a big baby, so I'd probably get as far away from the screaming as I could, so hopefully Tyler or whoever I called would calm me down and get me to call the cops or flag a big manly muscle man down to go see what was happening.
10. If you and your spouse were about to get your first pet, what would you get and what would you name it?
Well, I think I would try at a dog again. A husky this time, and we'd name him Fergus. Just kidding. How about Hawk?
11. What is your perfect day in? You know... a day on a cold, rainy day.. what would you do?
I would want it to be a snow day with all the power out. I always loved when that happened. The perfect day for me would be sitting by a fireplace with a nice big blanket and hot chocolate and roasting marshmallows and playing board games all day long.
Well now that you all know all about me, feel free to copy and post this so I can know all about you! I'm not going to tag anyone or make up new questions, so everyone can just answer the same questions if they'd like.
I have bloomed into a very pregnant, very large mom to be.
It takes a lot of effort to get out of bed, I get really uncomfortable sitting at work all day, I pee every single night at 3 in the morning, and I feel the need to waddle everywhere I go. Oh, the joys of being pregnant.
And as the due date is now only 7 weeks away, I am completely and utterly terrified.
I am a little scared of labor. And by a little I mean a lot. I have dreams about it, and I wake up literally shaking like a leaf. Sometimes I pretend it's going be hunky dory, but then I get to my prenatal classes and they make me watch birthing movies, and then I get all freaked out again. That's all I can think about before I go to bed, and I make Tyler listen to my worries for hours on end. I'm so scared I could die!!!
But then baby girl kicks a big kick, and I can see her foot or her elbow or her knee push against my belly. I love it. I could watch it all day. One day I felt her brush something against my hand. It wasn't just a kick either. It was like we touched for real! So cool.
I'm not so much terrified of being a mom. I actually am looking forward to that part tenfold. I can't wait to have someone to cuddle with all the time and to keep me company while Tyler works. I already try to wake her up when I'm bored. Doesn't work.
"I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much" -Mother Teresa
That's about how I've been feeling lately. I won't go into details, but let's just say I'm stressed and worried about everything. I have this problem about always looking in the past, trying to fix things that have already passed and that I have no control of.
On top of all that, I feel so unprepared. I want to be exactly the kind of mom my mom is, and what if I can't do that? I'm so immature still and just not ready at all.
Sonia had this on her Facebook a while ago.
It was exactly what I needed to hear.
Do your best, and leave the rest to him.
How fantastic and beautiful that is.
So let's try his advice.
1. Learn to Laugh
I really do have lots to laugh about in my life.
I guess I need to remember all these wonderful things at times when everything seems horrible and wrong. It's easy to forget the happy things sometimes.
The last time it snowed lots, not this weekend, but the time before that, Tyler and I made sure to shovel our little piece of walk we're required to shovel at the house. When I say Tyler and I, I mean Tyler. I don't shovel the walks. Too cold. The next day, we walk outside and there's this huge pile of snow in the middle of our sidewalk.
That picture doesn't do it justice. I took this picture probably three days later after it'd been warm out and melted down to a third of the size. Our landlords had shoveled their sidewalk and decided to pile it all on our little sidewalk. What?!? I think they want us gone. They even sent us another note under the door telling us we could leave if we wanted without any penalty since there's only one room and probably not enough room for a baby. Find us another place with cheap rent, and we'll leave, I promise.
2. Seek for the Eternal.
Elder Wirthlin said sometimes it's hard to look outside of the time of trouble and to realize that it will pass. I am always always always asking why me. What did I do to deserve all this. Why me. Why me.
But we need to remember that in the scheme of things, this is only a tiny time of eternity. It's going to pass, and everything we're going through will make us stronger and hopefully a better person.
3. Understand the Principle of Compensation.
The Lord compensates for every loss.
Every tear today will eventually be returned a hundred fold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.
4. Trust the Lord.
I need to trust that if I just do my very best, everything will work out.
To be as great as my mom is a huge expectation. She's honestly the best. I may not end up exactly like her, but I need to trust that I will be fine. Baby girl's going to love me as long as I do my best. The Lord will help me. He's always there!
30 weeks! It's coming up fast. It amazes me that I'm going to have a little family in less than 10 weeks. I couldn't be more excited. After all my stressing and worrying, I realize that this baby has already made me so happy. Even after she's made it feel like I've been sleeping in the splits all night because I'm so sore, I love love love that she's part of my life. She's going to be an amazing addition to our little Seaborn family.
I feel like Christmas holidays have just ended for me. For the past 2 months I've been sleeping in way too long and staying up way too late. I haven't done much more than shower and eat, sometimes not even leaving my house during the day. Horrible, I know. But I'm milking this whole pregnancy thing for all it's worth because I know in 12 weeks I'm most likely going to be up all night with baby girl. 12 weeks!!! Blows my mind.
I worked for the first time since December today, and I had to be there for a whole 45 minutes. Yes, I know. I have such a difficult life. I just applied for another job where I'll be able to work from home. Fingers crossed. I've been so nervous I could die. It will be the perfect job because I can stay with baby girl, and I just want it so bad!
Remember this guy?
Handsome, isn't he? He's my training, I think, for all the kids I'll have one day. He's very much still a kid at heart. Good thing I love him. The other day we got into a little argument. This is a little bit of how it went:
Tyler: Blah, blah, blah (I can't remember what he said, but guaranteed he didn't even say anything mean whatsoever. )
Me:Something along the lines of "You don't even care about me and my feelings." (Baby girl's making me a little bit sensitive)
Tyler:"Control your hormones."
Me: Got all silent and was probably about to cry.
Tyler:"Well shit."
And then we laugh and everything is just fine and dandy, sort of.
Turns out Ty may have been talking a little too loud. About 2 minutes later we get a note slipped under our door. It says something about quiet hours being between 8:00 p.m. and 8:00 a.m., and that they would appreciate us being more quiet and not swearing because they don't want their kid hearing words like that.
Oops. I was so embarrassed! Needles to say, I try to avoid our landlords now. They really are the nicest people, and it's completely understandable, but I'm just embarrassed. Ugh. Tyler probably won't hear the end of it from me until we move and get our own house. I'm sure he fully regrets it?
Time is a funny thing for me since I've been pregnant. It seems to fly by and creep along all at the same time. I want May 4th to come more than I've wanted anything, and then I think of birth and change my mind. I just want to skip that part. I like to avoid pain.
And Tyler and I couldn't be happier I don't think. I'm sure if it was a boy we would be just as thrilled, but she's already got us wrapped around her finger! She's going to be my best friend, and my little doll to dress up in ruffles and sparkles and big flower headbands.
The doctor's office called me the morning of the 19th. I think I actually squealed with delight when the nurse told me I was having a girl. I never squeal with delight, so you can bet your sweet bum that I was SUPER excited. I couldn't wait to tell Tyler.... until I remembered that he was pretty set on having a boy. He wanted it to be a boy SO bad, and I kept telling him that I was sure it was a boy because I was having dreams of a little boy. Oops.
But Tyler was just as excited as I was. He told me he needed to go get his gun license right away and that he couldn't wait for her to be daddy's little girl. Aww.
I'm 23 weeks now! I feel her kick every day. I crave her kicks. I just want to feel them all the time. Tyler finally caught her kicking one day while we were in Whitefish. I think I was more excited that he felt her than he was. Four more months! I cannot wait!
My New Year's resolution was going to be to go on a sugar diet. I knew I wouldn't last long, so my goal was only to last a week at first. It is now the 3rd of January and I'm sitting here eating a bowl of ice cream. Whatever, I'm pregnant. I can eat what I want.
