"I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much" -Mother Teresa
That's about how I've been feeling lately. I won't go into details, but let's just say I'm stressed and worried about everything. I have this problem about always looking in the past, trying to fix things that have already passed and that I have no control of.
On top of all that, I feel so unprepared. I want to be exactly the kind of mom my mom is, and what if I can't do that? I'm so immature still and just not ready at all.
Sonia had this on her Facebook a while ago.
It was exactly what I needed to hear.
Do your best, and leave the rest to him.
How fantastic and beautiful that is.
So let's try his advice.
1. Learn to Laugh
I really do have lots to laugh about in my life.
I guess I need to remember all these wonderful things at times when everything seems horrible and wrong. It's easy to forget the happy things sometimes.
The last time it snowed lots, not this weekend, but the time before that, Tyler and I made sure to shovel our little piece of walk we're required to shovel at the house. When I say Tyler and I, I mean Tyler. I don't shovel the walks. Too cold. The next day, we walk outside and there's this huge pile of snow in the middle of our sidewalk.
That picture doesn't do it justice. I took this picture probably three days later after it'd been warm out and melted down to a third of the size. Our landlords had shoveled their sidewalk and decided to pile it all on our little sidewalk. What?!? I think they want us gone. They even sent us another note under the door telling us we could leave if we wanted without any penalty since there's only one room and probably not enough room for a baby. Find us another place with cheap rent, and we'll leave, I promise.
2. Seek for the Eternal.
Elder Wirthlin said sometimes it's hard to look outside of the time of trouble and to realize that it will pass. I am always always always asking why me. What did I do to deserve all this. Why me. Why me.
But we need to remember that in the scheme of things, this is only a tiny time of eternity. It's going to pass, and everything we're going through will make us stronger and hopefully a better person.
3. Understand the Principle of Compensation.
The Lord compensates for every loss.
Every tear today will eventually be returned a hundred fold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.
4. Trust the Lord.
I need to trust that if I just do my very best, everything will work out.
To be as great as my mom is a huge expectation. She's honestly the best. I may not end up exactly like her, but I need to trust that I will be fine. Baby girl's going to love me as long as I do my best. The Lord will help me. He's always there!
30 weeks! It's coming up fast. It amazes me that I'm going to have a little family in less than 10 weeks. I couldn't be more excited. After all my stressing and worrying, I realize that this baby has already made me so happy. Even after she's made it feel like I've been sleeping in the splits all night because I'm so sore, I love love love that she's part of my life. She's going to be an amazing addition to our little Seaborn family.